Unfortunately, the title is not clickbait, I found out I was adopted through playing a game of tag at a family bbq on a Sunday afternoon. I was only 10 years old at the time, and a family member was annoyed that I had tagged them. Let’s call them Macadamia out of respect for their privacy. Macadamia yelled at me in frustration, and all I remember are the words ‘you’re not even our real cousin anyway, you’re ADOPTED!’
All I remember was feeling so sad and just in shock when Macadamia told me that it was true because her Mother had told her. I was initially so confused and did not comprehend what she was saying. I remember just running to the car and crying. My Mother came to the car and asked me why I was crying, but I wouldn’t tell her because I couldn’t verbalise it.
I just cried myself to sleep that night, and the next day I woke up still upset. I got angry at my older sibling for not taking me to the shops with them, so I yelled ‘is it because I am adopted?’ They were speechless as they looked at me, and so later that day, I walk into the lounge room, and I will never forget seeing my entire family looking sad. My parents asked me to sit down because they wanted to talk to me.
My Mother starts crying and telling me about how I was adopted. My entire family are crying. It was emotional for everyone, and I just cried aswell. I remember they gave me an option a) stay or option b) to go back to my biological mother which was also hard to hear because all I had ever known was that my adoptive family were my real family.
And as a 10-year old I do not think you are cognitively developed enough to understand option b) of returning to a mother who did not want you in the first place. As I write this, it almost feels like I was a faulty item given an option to be returned to a shop that would dispose of me. I know i sound a little dramatic but i am being honest with my reflection. Anyway, I went with option a) and the rest is history. Well not really, being adopted changed everything. I would be lying if I said it didn’t change because it affected me more than I realised which i will share in another blog.
I finally made peace with being adopted when I gave my life to Christ in 2008. I believe God gave me strength and peace to deal with it, and it’s been a hectic journey it definitely was not an overnight process. For instance, having my first child 3 years ago, I looked at my baby with so much love and admiration. I thought to myself how there is no way in this world I could ever give my baby up and wondered how on earth did she give up on me? It was through tears as I looked at my baby that God reminded he never gave up on me and loved me so much he gave his only son for me in John 3:16. And that he had a plan all along for my life.
I am incredibly thankful for the life I have because God has blessed me with the desires of my heart. Had I not been adopted, I would be living in another country, and life would not be as I know it now.
Although, it was a unique way to find out i was adopted. I believe what the enemy meant for evil at the time; God turned it for his good like he always does. Ultimately, God’s truth set me free, and my prayer is that sharing my adoption story will bring healing to someone else.
Love G x